Poetry confessional

So… I was really into poetry in college, as I’m sure many of you were/are (I’ll have to tell you about the depressing poetry contests, sometimes) but I hadn’t written in years. As Mark Twain said, “Contentment does not lend itself well to verse.”

Then… I kind of went through a super stressful time lately, and my first poems in years suddenly fall out of my fingers. And, since you’re a captive audience, I’m subjecting you to them.

000

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Nero fiddled while Rome burned

But no one thought to ask

If it was he who struck the match

If the slide of bow across strings

Was a mock of the city he’d felled

Without an army at his back

A celebratory dance

For the destruction he’d conjured

Or if he saw the flames

Only when others did

Tasted death as it was carried on the wind

And reached for the fiddle

So he could spend his final moments

In song

000

Somewhere, the world is ending

There may be warning signs

Arguments in the night

Whispers of disappearing money

The slow fading of the light in their eyes

But that final morning

Always keeps its silences

Never admitting

That this will be the last moment

Before your own private apocalypse

There will be no time to mourn

No companion with you in the bunker

Only blue skies

That seem a thousand miles away

And the memories of a world

That lies shattered at your feet.

High School “Fairy Godmothers, Inc.,” volume 2

Unfortunately for me, there is a good deal more of my original, “high school” version of “Fairy Godmothers, Inc’ than what I had previously posted. Because you are kind and I abandoned shame a long time ago (there was no longer any room for it in my apartment), here’s another excerpt.

000

Now that we had dealt with the dress, on to step two. I had to find out if she could dance. Since it was more important in this society for girls to be taught how to dance than how to read, I thought that I would have no problem. I had no idea how I could have still thought that, given the rest of the night. I was probably in denial.

So I asked the question, and got the answer I should have expected. She broke down sobbing (an act that she would continue on and off for the rest of the night). Then I proceeded to ask the very stupid question, “Didn’t your father teach you?” That only made her bawl harder.

When she finally calmed down, she managed to get out, “He died in a terrible cliché.”

“Don’t you mean accident?” I responded, unwilling to believe that bad writing could kill someone (though there have been cases of William Shatler’s books making people ill.)

*** Note from the author: Clearly, I meant William Shatner – yes, he also writes – and I like to tell myself it was simply a typo. If it was a genuine attempt to alter his name in some sort of parodic sense, I am embarrassed for myself.***

“No, cliché,” she barely managed to respond. “He died in a carriage accident while rushing home from his office, in the pouring rain, trying to make it home for my eighth birthday party,” she responded, which started a fresh round of tears. How does someone respond to that?

***It wasn’t until college, at least, that I realized how inelegant it was to use the same word so close together. Three times in one paragraph, though, is a little much even for high school me.***

***Though I have to admit, I do love the cliché line. I may have to figure out a way to use it later.***

More Fairy Godmothers, Inc. History: Our Glorious Founding

Credit: graphixwizard

Moments in Fairy Godmothers, Inc. History

Our Glorious Founding

The founder of Fairy Godmothers, Inc., Gloria Grimm, did indeed happen to be both a fairy and a godmother. At the time, there was nothing particularly significant about either of those things, though she became a godmother largely because her friend’s first choice had gotten turned into stone several years before. (There had been a misunderstanding about a pair of enchanted shoes.) Gloria, who had made several failed runs at city office, mostly restricted her involvement to a card every year on the girl’s birthday.

Several years and a few bad business deals later, Gloria ended up owing her friend a great deal of money. She still had her old connections, however, and paid her friend back by securing the girl’s invitation to a ball being put on in honor of some duke’s son who’s name she couldn’t remember. Gloria, never one to waste either an opportunity or a face far more young and attractive than hers, decided that the girl needed to make a proper entrance.

The duke’s son and her goddaughter only ended up dating for six months, but word of her entrance had already spread. Gloria had finally found her calling.  

Moments in Fairy Godmothers, Inc. History

Photo courtesy of Disney. A nice young man named Walt purchased many
of Fairy Godmothers, Inc.'s early company archives.

The Original Uniforms

In the early days of the company, the official Fairy Godmothers, Inc. company wardrobe was far simpler than it is now. Employees would wear a basic blue gown, with a matching pale blue overcloak, the better to let them blend in with the castle staff.

There are conflicting reports as to who added the large pink bow to the outfit, though the general consensus among employees is that a particularly hateful supply clerk sewed them on in a fit of revenge. She then said that she had been ordered to do so via memo, which she promptly lost. Since management writes too many memos to ever remember any of them, management assumed the supply clerk was correct and the bows stayed.

The uniform was later changed to the current tulle skirt when clients complained that the Fairy Godmothers weren’t sparkly enough to meet the standards of the average fancy dress ball. The new uniforms also allowed employees’ wings to show, which served as a useful branding opportunity.