Anyone who's read "Fairy Godmothers, Inc." knows the company's #1 rule. Here now are rules 2-11, presented to make sure you don't commit a faux pas that will cause Bubbles to chase after you with something sharp. Those of you who follow me on Tumblr (http://jennifferwardell.tumblr.com) will have seen a few of them, but the rest are brand new.
From
the Fairy Godmothers, Inc. manual:
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #2: True Love™ should be used whenever possible. Romance is
inefficient, and anyone watching won’t be able to tell the difference.
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #3: If a client starts mentioning words like “personal
fulfillment,” distract them with more jewelry or other related accessories.
Personal fulfillment is not included in our options package.
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #4: Contracts aren’t completed until a wedding date is
set. As long as the client is one of the people at the altar, any other
substitutions not explicitly barred by the contract are acceptable.
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #5: Due to budget cuts, all transformation spells will
now end at midnight. When warning clients of this, you are not allowed to
explain the reason.
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #6: Sharing information on anything trademarked by Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. will result in the employee immediately being fed to the
nearest dragon. If that dragon is abstaining from sentient life forms, the
second-nearest dragon will be used.
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #7: Employees will be issued one wand, and one wand only,
upon hiring. Replacement costs will be deducted from your paycheck.
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #8: Clients must pass a gracefulness test before
receiving glass slippers. Bloody feet equals bad PR.
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #9: Employees without wings must wear fakes. We’re not
“Normal Godmothers, Inc.”
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #10: Never be better looking than the client. We don’t
want the prince or princess rethinking their decision until after we’ve been
paid.
Fairy
Godmothers, Inc. rule #11: Creativity is strongly discouraged. People pay for
familiar clichés that will make onlookers jealous, and that is what we
deliver.
These are too cute!
ReplyDeleteGreat blog you hhave
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