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| Yes, this is my creation as well. |
So,
I was digging through my old papers one day, and discovered that my darling
Kate is a bit older than I originally thought. It turns out that I wrote my
first (albeit short-story version) of “Fairy Godmothers, Inc.” in high school,
though it was only called “Fairy Godmother” at the time because my ability to
come up with clever titles had apparently not grown in yet. Kate’s original
name was Maeve, apparently (why, I couldn’t tell you), and the proto-Bubbles
was named Glenda (okay, so she probably would have preferred I keep that).
The entire short story no longer
survives, thankfully, but I thought you might be amused by an excerpt (the urge
to edit while I typed it in was nearly overwhelming, but I resisted). It’s an
interesting look at some of my early concepts, the way my style has refined
over the years, and the fact that I am apparently a great deal funnier today
than I was in high school.
000
First off, we had to deal with the
dress. I conjured up Fairy Tale Confection #317 and held it out to her. She was
just about to take it when she started sneezing violently. Not only sneezing,
but coughing, shaking and in general acting as though she had been exposed to
New York air. Yet another reaction I’ve never gotten before. This girl could
set a record before the night’s out.
After some major scientific study (a
wild guess) we found out the cause of her trauma. It was the dress. Okay, pick
number two.
Soon, pick number two turned into
pick number 52, all with the same response. Finally, Miss Cinderella over here
finally decided to inform me of the little fact that she was allergic to silk,
cotton, velvet, satin, all fabric dyes, lace, and roses. Of course, all Fairy
Godmother brand dresses contain at least one of these items.
Then a horrible thought struck me.
There was, way in the back, one dress that didn’t, but no self-respecting Fairy
Godmother would dare use it. It was a natural colored polyester (is there a natural
color for polyester?) A-line dress. The very thought made me shudder, but I had
no other choice. With a heavy heart, I conjured it up.
000
I have more, if your courage hasn’t
failed you yet.
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