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| I have no idea when Walgreens got into the elf shoe business. |
The Elf
Question
By Jenniffer
Wardell
Shoemaker
Elves were a completely different species than their taller, more elegant
cousins. It was never a good idea to confuse the two, particularly within
earshot of a representative of either species who had been drinking heavily.
Shoemaker Elves were actually more closely related to fairies, and sorting out
who had started calling them elves usually took a good working knowledge of
linguistic history and the willingness to tolerate a lot of shouting.
Neither
species tended to show up in the Fairy Godmothers, Inc. offices, generally
preferring to sort out romantic matters among themselves. This news had no
effect on the young Shoemaker Elf sitting on the other side of Kate’s desk, her
traditional blue cap clutched to her chest. “I know, ma’am. It’s also not very
normal to have clients pay you for themselves. But I’m desperate.”
Kate
leaned forward, eyeing the girl carefully. “But you don’t want one of the
packages we have available.”
“No.
I want you to come to my mother’s party and whisk me away to dental school.”
She smiled hopefully. “It’s the only way they’ll let me go.”
“What
I’m confused about is why the say-so of a Fairy Godmother would help the
situation any.” She noticed the girl’s hunched shoulders, a very unusual
gesture for a Shoemaker Elf. When you were short, you generally held on to
every inch of height you could get. “I would think Shoemaker Elf parents would
approve of dental school. Working on teeth has the same kind of craftsman
spirit.”
“Well….”
Clearly, the girl hadn’t thought her story through as well as she should have.
“They’re very traditional, and though they’ll look at me kind of funny a
Fairy Godmother will cause just the right amount of fuss. They’ll have to let
me go, because making that kind of scene and then not doing anything about it
will just make people talk more….”
“And
finding out that their Elven daughter is pretending to be a Shoemaker Elf won’t
cause enough fuss?”
The
girl sighed. “I’m sorry, but people get so disappointed because I’m really
bad at the whole snooty Elf thing. I thought you’d like me better if I seemed
like I whistled while I worked.”
“That’s
dwarves, kiddo, but it’d probably be a good idea not to mention that particular
stereotype to any of them.” Taking pity on her, Kate pulled out a new client
form. “And I’m fine with however you want to dress. But if you go around in
that outfit, people are going to start asking you to fix things.”
As
if conjured, one of Kate’s co-workers chose that moment to pop her head around
a corner. “Hey, are you a Shoemaker Elf? I have this desk chair I’d really like
you to look at….”
Awesome:)
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